i know there is truth, and i know it can be apprehended directly. i have never been a good member of the tribe. i know i am a part of the human race, but it seems like the tribe is always mucking around in things i am not interested in. i have always been more a lone voice crying out in the wilderness, than a leader or a follower. that may be why i have had a hard time ever really getting into a partnership
i have never seen white light while drifting off to sleep. but i have seen it many times while drifting off from a meditation. it always happens in a reverie, and its always unexpected, breaking forth suddenly and almost violently, shaking me back to awakened consciousness. you have to tune your body, harmonize yourself through meditation. you have an inner life. it is possible to ignore it.
there are nerve bundles, nerve centers. kundalini is a focus of moving energy thru the body, concentrating on the energy centers, increasing the attention and consciousness of the existence of them, building their awareness as centers of power and energy.
shabda yoga says that you can hear spirit. listen to it deeply.
mantra meditation is the repetition for the sake of mental concentration, losing the preoccupation on all the other things, and just watching yourself silently repeat a word as if it were a thought, watching it bubble up from the source of thoughts and ideas, following it inward.
i think all 3 of these basically lead to the same experience, they support each other, its easy to switch from one to another, use whichever one seems to be working best.
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